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One of the ways that I procrastinate in the age of COVID-19 is to order groceries and Amazon packages to be delivered and then preemptively disinfect them as they arrive at my house. I mean, I get the heebie-jeebies if I see even one flea! Parcel disinfection eats up hours of my day—a Master Procrastinator’s dream.

If I lived in an isolated area I wouldn’t have this luxury. I could just leave stuff outside until the allotted time for the germ to perish on a given surface passes. Thankfully, I live in a city rife with porch pirates, car burglars, and credit card scammers. I can’t even leave my mail in the mailbox because there might be a document with personal identity information there for the taking.

So, the table by my front door holds a jumbo can of Lysol, a tub of disinfecting wipes, and a bottle of hand sanitizer—all sentinels ready to battle insidious novel coronavirus germs. Together, we say “Not on my watch.” Anything that comes into this house gets sprayed and wiped until it is tattered and frayed.

In this way, I anxiously protect my family while indulging my procrastination tendencies, as the skin on my hands peels off from all the washing. (Does anyone else lose count on the way to twenty-one-thousand?) It is all satisfyingly exhausting and I can’t possibly get any work done afterward. 💁‍♀️


Business Insider published a helpful chart that I reference daily (article linked above):

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